Black Xmas (Remake)

That's what you get for being the Slayers sister.

ITS CHRISTMAAAAS! So here's our Christmas review. We did the remake, because its lulzier.

I hear it’s somebodies birthday! Jesus’.
Because it’s chicken. 8I
Did he use the candy cane to do that? ...No, he used his phaser
Maybe...she should re-evaluates her life.
I know who Billy is...the goddamn Creeper.
I learned it from watching YOU!
WHY!?
Can we do secret santas!? 8D
Thanks captain obvious!
Billy’s in your tree, watching you fap.
nom nom noms
it was logical.
Try calling the police academy again
Jesus cameo
Gaaay
MY EYE!!!!!!!!!!
Dana!
Use the OTHER side
yeah I’m at the “?”, where are you?
Bing-bang-boom hair’s out, hamburger time
So if I eat them...I become them
and that is NOT your eye
Can we have secret santas now?
Oh look, disco McCoy
very metal tree.

Overall rating: 5 Stars, because Dawn from Buffy dies.

Piñata Survival Island

I can't see a difference, can you?

I bought this movie just because Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer was in it. Much lulz ensued shortly after.

What the hell is going on?
People are dying! Finish your piñata!! HURRY!
Piñata of hearts?? Is that an actual thing??
Xander is in this movie! put the fucking Buffy font on it!
Are water guns necessary?
Underwear scavenger hunt. What.
Whoa, Xander is smart! He learned a lot from hanging out with Giles
It’s not much of a scavenger hunt when theyre just HANGING AROUND EVERYWHERE.
Gravel angel
How the fuck do you GUESS thats a piñata? it looks nothing LIKE a modern day piñata.
Most people would have gave up after not breaking it open with a stick.
What was in that pot? uhhhh... pot.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. THAT’S THE MONSTER?
In soviet Russia, Piñata smashes you!
Xanders a pretty badass dude these days.
Mr. Piñata? She’s very dead. You can stop now.
Why did the Piñata take the time to cut a guy in half and hang him up??
The Piñata is offended by this PDA.
Why does everyone think this statue thing is a Piñata!? its not a brightly coloured llama shaped paper mache thing!!
Say WHAAAAT?
He’s Xander. He’s seen everything. He’d be all “A piñata? Nah, it’s probably just a demon. Hold on, I’ll call Giles.”
Language, Xander.
Explosion?
Her face is on fire!!
Piñatas deadliest weakness: Wiffle bat.
Spike, is that you?
You’re not secretly hoping Buffy will show up and kick some piñata ass?
Redshirts.
These demon tracks are fresh.
This thing is like a goddamn Pokemon! It keeps evolving!
I know where they are again.
Wheeeee
The TARDIS translates things into Leatherface for him.
Freddy demons.

Overall rating: friggin awesome for bad CG and Xander.
Review rating: 5 Stars, only one Star Trek refrence! We did pretty good!

Kingdom of the Spiders

This is what we watched.

So we watched "Kingdom of the Spiders" starring Tarantulas (which are not spiders) and William Shatner.
I'm sure anyone who follows this blog knows by now that we are huge Star Trek fans.
If anyone follows this blog.
So lets get started, shall we!?

It even SOUNDS like Star Trek
Your farms doin’ pretty good, you got one calf.
This cows acting is amazing
Cowboy!Kirk
Classics, Kirk!
Oh, your communicators going off! red alert!
Oh, your ONE calf is dying. Your farm is fucked.
It’s dead, Jim.... wait.
Black leg???
Jim.
That’s not a proper place for a bull.
Tarantula cruilty ahoy.
Shatner only knows how to hit on ladies
Kirk is talking but I cant see him.... Wheres Kirk!?
srs bsns, man.
Oh it’s the Mayor, give him a beer!
McCoy is standing right over there!? David Tennant is standing right over there!?
Dr.Hanson. He can sing mmbop, and drink beer, and go to the Enterprise
Of course the dogs still missing. Why else would the guy stand in the middle of the farm and call for it.
Dont watch them do science! its terrifying!
Fasinating.
He likes to prowl around. Like Kirk.
Kinda pretty for a girl?? Is he gay now?
Kirks got a nice Rack.
Classics Kirk.
Fire tarantulas are metal.
It’s scaries!!
Kirk’s been teaching that little girl how to pick up chicks.
Is it your dick?
Oh look a bridge! That’s romantic.
Oh no! *thumbs up*
He’s dead, Jim.
I’m sorry I have to tell you, your husband is in a cacoon.
He’s dead too, Jim.
Shes shooting at them!? WHAT THE HELL, DON’T SHOOT AT THE ONE ON YOUR HAND.
She’s dead, Jim.
Acting.
Holy shit. This movie just killed thousands and thousands of tarantulas.
Oh let’s see whats in here in the ceiling! OH SHIT TARANTULAS”
Oh shit. Those tarantulas cut the power.
Redshirts are my favourite tarantula!
Oh my god...what did we do last night??
End.

That was the best shore leave ever. One to beam up.
Overall rating: 4. Cause it has Kirk.